Aziz Ansari

On January 13, 2018, the website Babe.net published an anonymous account by a 22-year-old woman who identified herself as “Grace.” The article—titled “I went on a date with Aziz Ansari. It turned into the worst night of my life”—detailed a date between Grace and Ansari from September 25, 2017. Grace stated that she felt prompted to share her story after seeing Ansari win a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Television Series for his work in “Master of None” and noticing that he was wearing a “Time’s Up” pin in support of the fight against sexual assault and harassment.

In the article, Grace described her 2017 date with Ansari in detail, which began at the Grand Banks Oyster Bar and ended back at Ansari’s New York apartment. In the apartment, they kissed and Ansari performed brief oral sex on Grace, after which Ansari repeatedly moved her hands towards his penis. Grace stated that she gave consistent, nonverbal cues that she was not interested in sex including standing up and moving away from him multiple times, but that Ansari persisted in sticking his fingers down her throat and then “going straight for my vagina to try and finger me.” He reportedly asked her again and again, “Where do you want me to fuck you?”

Said Grace: “I know I was physically giving off cues that I wasn’t interested. I don’t think that was noticed at all, or if it was, it was ignored.” Later on in the evening, Ansari asked Grace if she was okay, to which she replied, “I don’t want to feel forced because then I’ll hate you, and I’d rather not hate you.” Ansari responded, “Oh, of course, it’s only fun if we’re both having fun,” but continued giving Grace “gross, forceful kisses” until he called her an Uber. 

[The website Babe.net closed down in February 2019 due to lack of funding.]

On January 14, 2018, a day after the original article was posted, Babe.net tweeted screenshots of the alleged texts between Grace and Ansari following their date.

A text from Grace reads: 

“Last night might’ve been fun for you it wasn’t for me. When we got back to your place, you ignored clear non-verbal cues; you kept going with advances. You had to have noticed I was uncomfortable. [...] You may have said “it’s okay, only fun if we’re both enjoying it, let’s just chill” but within moments of that your fingers were down my throat. You were putting my hand on your dick continuously. 

It’s like nothing changed even after I expressed that I’d like to slow it down. It may have seemed okay. But I didn’t feel good at all. All day I’ve been playing it over, I’m realizing how much it affected me. I want to make sure you’re aware so maybe the next girl doesn’t have to cry on the ride home.”

Ansari responded: “I’m so sad to hear this. All I can say is, it would never be my intention to make you or anyone feel the way you described. Clearly, I misread things in the moment and I’m truly sorry.”

Twitter users commenting on Babe.net’s tweet were divided, with some arguing in Grace’s defense that sexual consent is not implicit and should always be confirmed, while others argued that Grace went along with what was happening and never clearly refused Ansari’s advances. 

In a statement originally released to E! News, Ansari responded to the Babe.net article in which anonymous user “Grace” accused him of sexual misconduct. Said Ansari: “In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual.

The next day, I got a text from her saying that although it may have seemed okay, upon further reflection, she felt uncomfortable. It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned. I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said. I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue.”

Grace’s allegations against Ansari sparked significant controversy on the internet, with some commenters siding with Ansari and considering the encounter to be “just a bad date” while others judged Ansari’s behavior to be sexual assault. Major media outlets quickly responded to the controversy with think pieces exploring the story and its connection to the #MeToo movement. 

The New York Times published an opinion piece from journalist Bari Weiss titled “Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader” where Weiss described the controversy as "arguably the worst thing that has happened to the #MeToo movement." The article received over 2,900 comments with many readers criticizing Weiss’s perspective. As a follow up, the New York Times published several letters to the editor.

The Atlantic published “The Humiliation of Aziz Ansari” where writer Caitlin Flanagan described the Babe.net article as “3,000 words of revenge porn” saying “The clinical detail in which the story is told is intended not to validate her account as much as it is to hurt and humiliate Ansari. Together, the two women may have destroyed Ansari’s career, which is now the punishment for every kind of male sexual misconduct, from the grotesque to the disappointing.” Flanagan’s polarizing opinions were quoted in many subsequent articles.

In Vox’s piece, “The Aziz Ansari story is ordinary. That’s why we have to talk about it.”, Anna North stated: “what [Grace] describes — a man repeatedly pushing sex without noticing (or without caring about) what she wants — is something many, many women have experienced in encounters with men. And while few men have committed the litany of misdeeds of which Weinstein has been accused, countless men have likely behaved as Grace says Ansari did — focusing on their own desires without recognizing what their partner wants. It is the sheer commonness of Grace’s experience that makes it so important to talk about.”

NPR’s “All Things Considered” featured an interview with Flanagan from the Atlantic and North from Vox, titling the episode: “The Fine Line Between A Bad Date And Sexual Assault: 2 Views On Aziz Ansari.”

On Huffpost, Emma Gray explored the gray areas of sex and consent in “On Aziz Ansari And Sex That Feels Violating Even When It’s Not Criminal”. Gray wrote: “The sexual encounter Grace described falls into what I see as a gray area of violating, noncriminal sex [...] This is a kind of sex that is not only worth talking about, but necessary to talk about. Behavior need not fall under the legal definition of sexual assault or rape to be wrong or violating or upsetting. And when nearly every woman I’ve spoken to about the Aziz Ansari story follows up our conversation with a similar story of her own, it’s worth thinking about why that is.”

In “The Aziz Ansari furore isn’t the end of #MeToo. It’s just the start,” the Guardian’s Sarah Solemani acknowledged that “cautionary tale of Aziz Ansari has split the room,” and advised that ”the Ansari fallout should be seen for what it is: collateral damage of a bigger, brighter historical movement, and not its final destination.” She went on to say that “Flanagan [writing for the Atlantic] could not relate to the new world [Grace] imagined for herself, or the community of young women who received her testimony with empathy. Instead she recalled an era where girls would physically fight off unwanted sexual advances, perversely reminiscing about an old kind of “strength” instead of yearning for a new kind of freedom.”

On January 15, journalist Ashleigh Banfield, host of “Crime & Justice” on HLN, accused Grace of negatively impacting the #MeToo movement. 

Banfield criticized Grace’s allegations, saying “by your own clear description, this wasn’t a rape, nor was it a sexual assault. By your description, your sexual encounter was unpleasant.”

Banfield stated that Grace had “chiseled away at a movement that I, along with all of my sisters in the workplace, have been dreaming of for decades. A movement that has finally changed an oversexed professional environment that I, too, have struggled through at times over the last 30 years in broadcasting. … The #MeToo movement has righted a lot of wrongs and it has made your career path much smoother … what a gift. Yet, you looked that gift horse in the mouth and chiseled away at that powerful movement with your public accusation.”

Banfield went on to say that Ansari should not be “blackballed” from Hollywood and that “the only sentence a guy like that deserves is a bad case of blue balls.” 

Following Banfield’s criticism of Grace, Katie Way, the reporter who broke the Ansari story, slammed Banfield in a strongly-worded email which Banfield read excerpts from on the January 16 episode of “Crime & Justice.”

Way wrote: "The way your colleague Ashleigh (?), someone I'm certain no one under the age of 45 has ever heard of, by the way, ripped into my source directly was one of the lowest, most despicable things I've ever seen in my entire life." 

The email continued: "Shame on her. Shame on HLN. Ashleigh could have 'talked' to me. She could have 'talked' to my editor or my publication. But instead, she targeted a 23-year-old woman in one of the most vulnerable moments of her life, someone she's never f---ing met before, for a little attention. I hope the ratings were worth it! I hope the ~500 RTs on the single news write-up made that burgundy lipstick bad highlights second-wave feminist has-been feel really relevant for a little while."

Banfield stated that she shared Way’s email "because if you truly believe in the #MeToo movement, if you truly believe in women's rights, if you truly believe in feminism, the last thing you should do is attack someone in an ad hominem way for her age — I'm 50 — and for my highlights."

Although he was nominated for the “outstanding actor in a comedy series” award, Ansari did not attend the 2018 Screen Actors Guild Awards, and the audience did not applaud when his name was read in the list of nominees. 

On July 9, 2019, Netflix released Aziz Ansari’s stand-up comedy special “Right Now.” In the show’s introduction, Ansari addressed the sexual misconduct allegations he received in 2018 from Babe.net: “I'm sure some of you are curious how I feel about that whole situation, and it’s a tricky thing for me to answer, ‘cause I’ve felt so many things in the last year or so. There’s times I felt scared. There’s times I felt humiliated. There’s times I felt embarrassed. And ultimately, I just felt terrible that this person felt this way. And after a year or so, I just hope it was a step forward … I hope I’ve become a better person.” 

In response, many fans tweeted their support for Ansari.

Although Netflix has not publicly broken ties with Aziz Ansari in light of the Babe.net controversy, in which he was accused of sexual misconduct, the trailer for the sitcom “Master of None” revealed that Ansari would not be appearing on screen for the third season in 2021. Instead, the story focused on the relationship between Lena Waithe and Naomi Ackie's characters. Ansari is still credited as director and co-writer.